A Few "Lesser Known and Obscure" Facts I Learned While In Southern & Mediterranean Europe

Bottom line: Travel provides opportunity to open one's eyes to new and different ways of life.

When I travel, I always learn new things, some surprising. That's why I relish it, even when confronted with travel delays, exposure to disease, and theft of property. But I won't dwell on the negatives my wife and I encountered during our travel to parts of southern Europe recently.

Instead, I'll share a few things I didn't know before our trip, just to wet your wanderlust whistle, if nothing else.

1) Porto, Portugal - Located near the confluence of the Douro River and the Atlantic Ocean, Porto occupies the northern bank of the river, while Vila Nova de Gaia, or Porto Gaia, occupies the southern bank. And, as the Douro River Valley has been a major wine producing area for some centuries, Porto Gaia has been the hub for Portuguguese wine production and distribution.

After the British signed the Treaty of Windsor with Portugal in 1386, they imported Portuguese wine with enthusiasm, particularly as their wine source from the France had been stymied by hostilities. In addition, per the advantageous treaty terms, the British invested heavily in Portugal's vinification industry, such as the vineyards and processing facilities in Porto Gaia.

In the late 1600s CE, port wine was invented by adding a "grape brandy" to the wine, which helped preserve the product during shipping. Guess where it's name came from.

FYI, port wine isn't a favorite of mine.

No, that’s not a silhouette of Zorro! I'm posing next to the Sandeman wine logo.

2) Portugal - The combination of the two names Porto and Gaia provided Portugal it's name (Porto + Gaia). Pronounce those quickly and you may see how that happened, particularly when foreigners got involved.

A panoramic view at sunset of Porto (center), flanked by portions Porto Gaia on each side.

3) Lisbon, Portugal - The Portuguese language is difficult to learn, particularly for school children. In Portuguese, Lisbon is spelled Lisboa, and the "i" is pronounced more like a long "e," while the "s" is pronounced as "sh." Try pronouncing Cascais using those two rules!

The Portuguese love small custard tarts or cream pastries, which they call pasteis de nata. Delicious, their cream pastries are consumed in huge quantities by the population. First made about three hundred years ago in a monastery west of Lisbon, egg yolks are a prime ingredient. Be advised, sugar, in a copious amount, is another.

Portuguese pasteis de nata.

Photo Credit: pexels-Magda Ehlers

But, what to do with all that leftover albumen? Egg whites have been used as a binding agent in a variety of ways, including in artists' paints and as a starch to stiffen collars and cuffs.

The Portuguese refer to the conquest of the Americas as "the Age of Discovery." I'll say no more about that.

A Lisbon monument to the explorers during the Age of Discovery.

5) Barcelona, Spain - Antoni Gaudi, an architect, designed numerous buildings in Barcelona in the late 19th century and early 20th. His artist architectural designs demonstrate considerable innovation, even by today standards. However, his name did not generate the term "gaudy," though is commonly associated with the term as a result of his creations.

In 1884 Gaudi worked on redesigning the Sagrada Familia, Barcelona's giant basilica, which is still under construction!

Sagrada Familia, Barcelona, Spain. Note the signs of construction.

6) Madrid, Spain - Restaurant Botin, founded 1725 CE, holds the Guinness Book of Records as the oldest established restaurant in the world. The restaurant's forte is suckling pig.

Janet anticipates eating suckling pig.

Janet and I pose in front of Restaurant Botin.

Not the original building, I suspect!

Janet and I preferred the impressionist works at the Thyssen-Bornemisza National Museum to the historic religious-oriented works in the Prado Museum.

Claude Monet, The Thaw at Vetbeuil, 1880.

7) Marseilles, France - The oldest city in France has retained relative independence since founded over twenty-five hundred years ago, including during Roman and Nazi German occupations.

Basilique Notre-Dame-de-la-Garde, atop the hill, overlooks Marseille.

8) Monaco - This principality constitutes the second smallest country in Europe, and covers 499 acres or .75 square miles.

Citizens of Monaco, Monegasques, are forbidden to gamble in the casinos, though can enter one, if they work there.

Casino de Monte Carlo in Monaco, made more

famous by the James Bond movie, Casino Royale.

9) Pisa, Italy - The Campanile, aka bell tower or Leaning Tower of Pisa, has companion buildings. One, known as the Baptistery, also leans. There appears no danger of either toppling anytime soon, however.

The Baptistery (foreground) and Campanile (background).

10) Pompeii, Italy - The inhabitants, who hadn't already left when the heavy blanket of ash fell during the Vesuvius eruption of 79 CE, were suffocated and burned by a pyroclastic flow, a cloud of hot, noxious gas. Once the pyroclastic flow approached from Vesuvius, those remaining in Pompeii had insufficient time to outrun it, even if they’d seen it coming. What we see today of the victims--parts of Pompeii remain unexcavated for future archeologists--are the shapes of plaster casts of the hollows created by their bodies in the ash layer that covered them.

This victim has been identified as a pregnant female of about twenty years old.

11) Rome, Italy - Ancient Romans consumed parrots and flamingos, among other things, and ate while reclining. Perhaps, that's why they purged so much?

It's virtually impossible to look around the city of Rome without seeing a religious structure, such as a Roman temple or Catholic basilica.

Look closely, you’re bound to see a church or temple somewhere.

Vatican City, confined within the city of Rome, comprises the smallest country in Europe at 109 acres or .19 square miles.

Long lines dissuaded us from entering the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Basillica.

12) The Straight of Messina, Italy – A swimmer could easily cross this gap if not for the strong currents, as it is only 1.9 miles wide. Would you guess that by examining a map?

Italian mainland (left) and Sardinia (right) separated by the Strait of Messina.

13) Corfu, Greece - The Byzantine Paleokastritsa Monastery, established in the 1220's CE and dedicated to the Virgin Mary, sits aside cliffs along a rugged coastline and overlooking clear, azure waters.

A view of the Mediterranean Sea, only steps away from the Paleokastritsa Monastery.

14) Korcula, Croatia - Some believe Marco Polo was born here, though others believe he was born in Venice. Note that Venice ruled Korcula at that time, and Marco Polo lived in Venice for a while, and so those two facts likely have confounded the issue.

Korcula, Croatia, a small, yet beautiful Adriatic Sea town.

The Adriatic Sea for all practical purposes is an extension of the Mediterranean Sea, but who’s quibbling?

15) Dubrovnik, Croatia - The city's history dates back about fourteen hundred years. The relatively unspoiled and rugged Dalmatian coastline near Dubrovnik meets pristine waters of the Adriatic Sea.

Dubrovnik, Croatia, with its old walled city (left) dating back to the Middle Ages.

16) Venice, Italy - The waters surrounding Venice are quite murky, partly due, I suspect, to the Venetian toilets that flush directly into it! So, I don't recommend swimming there.

The iconic view of St. Mark's Square, Venice, from the water.

Tourists swarmed the streets and popular sites of Venice like ants at a picnic. Venice is implementing a tourist surcharge starting January, 2023, as a result of the increased number of visitors.

Tourists on an adjacent bridge as seen from the Bridge of Sighs near St. Mark's Square.

A last view of Venice from the air.

My wife and I had a worthwhile adventure, to say the least.

The world awaits. Go forth on your own adventures and walk in beauty.

Normal & Perfect (Wisdom of the 12-Steps)

Bottom line: Let go of negative and unhelpful self-judgment.

I’m not talking about judgements about inappropriate behavior here. I’m talking about the nah, nah, nah and the unreasonable expectations we carry in our heads. I'm talking about the quality of our esteem of self and others.

As a treatment staff member in an adult drug/alcohol residential treatment facility some years ago, I often heard clients say they wanted to be normal, meaning like normal people. I usually responded that normal wasn’t what it's cracked up to be, and they should stay focused on healing themselves and avoid comparing themselves to others. I understood the majority of the general population likely considered themselves normal. But I knew humans aren’t perfect. I knew perfection is an ideal, a concept . . . an illusion. I knew full well the idea of normal was some vague notion of the general collective other, an imagined average of their characteristics, a construct we create in our heads.

Take heart. We’re all fallible humans, warts and all, dealing with life as it unfolds in its unpredictable way, which is beyond our control. We’re left to react to multiple events as best we can, while learning as we go. And that’s okay.

Just as some of us fall into the trap of striving to be normal, that ideal that lives in our heads, we should let go of the notion of achieving perfection.

British pediatrician and psychoanalyst D. W. Winnicott termed the phrase “good enough mother” in his famous book Playing and Reality. His point being that no mother, nor caregiver or father I’ll add, needs to be, nor likely can be, perfect for their child. And who can determine what is perfect over time, much less in a given moment. It’s a cumulative, on-going process. As long as the mother, or any caregiver, exhibits compassion, caring, empathy, and, most importantly, what we call unconditional love, the child can adapt, experience and learn to deal with challenges in a healthy manner. As well, the growing child needs to face some difficulties to properly develop into a cooperative, socially appropriate individual.

Our collective and individual hope, of course, resides in the fact that we humans are malleable, flexible, and adaptive. We are capable of adjusting, improving, forgiving, and, most importantly, achieving redemption. If the mother can’t provide what’s good enough, then other caregivers, a father, a grandparent, an aunt or uncle . . . or any number of members of the extended family, may be able to fill in the gaps. In a real sense, if a family can be defined as dysfunctional, not all of its members are dysfunctional to the same degree, nor all the time in their interaction to every other member.

Our challenge should be to do the best we can, be willing to fail and learn, be open to communicate, reach out for help, and willing to rely on others. Over time our connections to others will sustain us and allow opportunity to unload our individual burdens by sharing our secrets and expressing ourselves honestly without judgement.

If you don’t have friends or family you with whom you can do that, Twelve-Step meetings are a safe place. So is counseling/therapy. Years ago, I reached out when suicidal thoughts threatened to consume me in undergraduate school.

So, reach out and connect with others. Unburden yourself of your secrets. Learn to trust others. Drop the public mask you hide behind and let down your walls. Learn to love, accept yourself in spite of your warts and imperfections. There are others out there that not only can relate, but who are willing to listen.

I leave you with this: “You don’t need to save me, you just need to hold my hand while I save myself.” Attribution Unknown

Photo Credit - wallpaperaccess.com

Dysfunctional Families (Wisdom of the 12-Steps)

Bottom line: Don’t give up. We’re all capable of healing and recovery, but we have to reach out for the support that awaits.

We’ve heard the term, but what does dysfunctional mean, anyway? Merriam-Webster dictionary defines dysfunctional as “not functioning properly: marked by impaired or abnormal functioning.” It may be difficult to pinpoint, or put into words, what’s dysfunctional in a family or individual, but generally we know something’s amiss on a gut level.

Growing up with a father who frequently binged alcohol after cashing his Friday paychecks, then arguing and physically abusing my mother when she confronted him, I knew things were out of kilter. Their fighting scared and saddened me. I felt torn during those years between wanting to escape and avoid my confusion, hurt, sadness and my helplessness over their turmoil. I worked to steer clear of the intensity of Dad’s rages. At the same time, I wanted to prevent harm to Mom, as I was terrified of losing her altogether by Dad’s hand. In spite of, or because of, my feelings—doesn’t matter which—I searched for clues as to how I could intervene and stop the periodic madness.

As a young boy, I couldn’t explain normal . . . not to myself, and not to anyone else. Nor did I know how other fathers acted towards their children, except from glimpses I could get here and there. But my feelings told me that my nuclear family situation was wrong, wasn’t healthy, and desperately so. Like when I burned a finger after touching a hot stove, or scrapped a knee from a fall, I knew if something caused pain, then that something wasn’t good. And I knew to avoid repeating behavior which caused pain. I didn’t know what I could do to change my dad’s drinking, my parents’ arguments over it, or Dad’s abuse of Mom. I didn’t have the tools to communicate my feelings with others. Some invisible wall of silence had been erected, which trapped my mom, my brother and me, and prevented us from seeking effective assistance to change the equation. I couldn’t intervene physically. The best I could do? I hunkered down, observed, and empathized with Mom when I could. I calculated how, and moreover when, I might intervene . . . while at the same time pursuing my boyhood interests at school and during visits to my grandparents.

Visits to my grandparents, particularly my maternal grandparents’ farm, became my saving grace. The unconditional love I received there from extended family members uplifted me. Dad didn’t drink around my grandparents, that I knew of anyway. Moreover, my parents didn’t argue or fight while there. And so, those visits provided me a safe harbor, a place to anchor myself, lower my vigil, absorb healthier life lessons, and experience the closer-to-nature lifestyle of subsistence farming.

It’s been said that all families are dysfunctional in their own way. And at best, it’s probably a rare few who would claim they didn’t grow up dealing with chaos or experiencing trauma. Who among us can claim they grew up unscathed? Beyond that, none of us can claim we’ve never suffered a loss. Loss is an inevitable part of life.

Some individuals and families, without doubt, are more toxic and dysfunctional than others. And some individuals are harmed more than others. Children in particular are more likely to suffer to a greater degree as they have fewer resources to cope and escape. But we all have opportunity to reach out for support, even in small ways, to avoid further damage and begin our healing journey.

If you don’t have friends or family to whom you can reach out, Twelve-Step meetings are a safe place to start, particularly if counseling/therapy isn’t an option.

Years ago, my healing journey involved reaching out while in undergraduate school when suicidal thoughts threatened to consume me. So, reach out and connect with others. If nothing else, start with a phone call or a remote meeting. There are others out there who can relate and are willing to listen. Unburden yourself of your secrets. You’re only as sick as they are. Drop the public mask you hide behind and let down your walls. Learn to trust others. Learn to love, and accept yourself in spite of your warts and imperfections.

You can read more about my journey by visiting my website (my name .com) and reading my memoir, Once Upon a Kentucky Farm: Hope and Healing from Family Abuse, Alcoholism and Dysfunction (released early 2022).

I leave you with this quote from an unknown source: “You don’t have to save me, you only need to hold my hand while I save myself.”

Photo Credit: Quang Nguyen vinh (Quangpraha) - Pixabay